Final Text Message Sent

Bye

sent October 26, 1:14 am

it was 5:14 am here in Chicago.

was I awake? why did I not know what was happening in Hawaii? Why did I not know?

In the immortal words of Holden Caulfiend: "sleep tight, ya morons!" (Catcher In The Rye, J. D. Salinger)

Remember Pearl Harbor

Pearl Harbor is near Hickam Air Force Base. The attack on Pearl Harbor took place on December 7, 1941.

In these pictures we took at Hickam you can see the bullet holes from the attack.

Click on each picture to enlarge it and see it full size.

Dulce Domum

Dulce Domum is the funeral rite of the Fellowship of Isis. We used the Oracle from this liturgy at the services at the funeral home on November 3. We also did a memorial service using the full Dulce Domum at home on November 14 when Maris's ashes came home

All Shall Be Well...

my dear friend Therese sent me this prayer by Julian of Norwich:

All shall be well

and all shall be well

and all manner of things shall be well.

(But Jesus, who in this Vision informed me of all that is needful to me, answered by this word and said: It behoved that there should be sin; but all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well. )

Agony; Anguish

more words that apply to my condition these days....

ag·o·ny:
1. The suffering of intense physical or mental pain.
2. The struggle that precedes death.
3. A sudden or intense emotion: an agony of doubt.
4. A violent, intense struggle.

an·guish:
Agonizing physical or mental pain; torment. Synonym: regret.

Flower and Gem Remedies

I could have sent him Chestnut Bud to help with the anguish...I could have sent Mustard to help with the gloom....I could have sent Cherry Plum to help with the fear of loss of control and the mind giving way...I could have sent Gorse for hopelessness and despair...I could have sent Mimulus for social phobia...I could have sent Rescue Remedy....

I could have sent a piece of Black Tourmaline.

Why didn't I?

What is wrong with me?

Why didn't I know?

Time and Excuses

Never, never, never take anything for granted. Call the people you love NOW, even if you are tired and not thinking straight. You might not get another chance. Let them know you love them and are thinking about them. Do not worry about waking them up. Do not worry if it is a very short conversation. Just call them. And be sure to tell them you love them.

Definitions

Horror = A painful emotion of fear, dread, and abhorrence; a shuddering with terror and detestation; the feeling inspired by something frightful and shocking.

Disbelief = incredulity; doubt about the truth of something; unpreparedness, unwillingness, or inability to believe that something is the case; astonishment.

Shock = daze; the feeling of distress and disbelief that you have when something bad happens accidentally; strike with horror or terror; a sudden jarring impact; inflict a trauma upon.

These are the main feelings I experience these days.

Black Holes

On and off for several months, I have been thinking a lot about Black Holes. I wonder if Maris was thinking about them, too.

I think my psyche was more connected to Maris than I realized. I wish I had realized that sooner, and that these thoughts were not originating within myself.

We have both gone into a metaphysical Black Hole. Sometimes I feel as if I AM a Black Hole.

I have fallen into a Black Hole and gone into another universe. This is NOT the universe I thought I knew.

Will we ever come out?

Seven-Fold Blessing

This benediction was performed at the cemetery, before military honors:

The Seven-Fold Blessing

Priest/ess [Anna, Kiel or Demetria]:
We will now bless and purify this space with four sacred herbs: sage, sweetgrass, cedar and bear root.

Caller of East[Joan]:
May this sacred smoke cleanse and free Maris’s mind. May he enter Heaven in peace and freedom. [Caller walks clockwise around casket smudging with sage.]

Caller of South [Demetria]:
May this sacred smoke cleanse and free Maris’s spirit. May he enter Heaven in peace and freedom. [Caller walks clockwise around casket smudging with sweetgrass .]

Caller of West [Kiel]:
May this sacred smoke cleanse and free Maris’s soul. May he enter Heaven in peace and freedom. [Caller walks clockwise around casket smudging with .]

Caller of North [Anna]:
May this sacred smoke cleanse and free Maris’s body. May he enter Heaven in peace and freedom. [Caller walks clockwise around casket smudging with .]

Priest/ess [Ann, Kiel or Demetria]:
GREAT SPIRIT, OUR CREATOR, You give us the gift of life and the grace to praise you. Open our hearts that we may welcome your Spirit anew in our life. Teach us your wisdom and pour into us your gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Caller of East [Joan]:
We look to the EAST, the place where the new Sun rises each morning. This is the direction of hope and of new beginnings. Look down on us from the East, Creator, and pour your Spirit upon us so that we may renew our lives. Almighty God, fill and surround the soul of Maris with the Light of Wisdom and Truth.

Caller of South [Demetria]:
We look to the SOUTH, the place from where the warm winds come. This is the direction of good friends who help us walk on the Good road of life. Look down on us from the South, Creator, and pour your Spirit of happiness and friendship throughout our life. Teach us the lesson of Generosity that we may serve one another. Almighty God, fill and surround the soul of Maris with Healing.

Caller of West [Kiel]:
We look to the WEST, the place where the Sun sets as the day fades. This is the direction of changes, of growing and dying. Look down on us from the West, Creator, and give us the strength to face the great mysteries of life and death. Transform our hearts with the gift of Your Spirit so that we may be renewed in Your Great Spirit. Almighty God, fill and surround the soul of Maris with Love.

Caller of North [Anna]:
We look to the NORTH, the place from where the cold, harsh winds of winter come. This is the direction of hard times and painful moments that test us. Look down upon us from the North, Creator, and help us to walk in a sacred manner even when times are hard. Give us the spirit of courage to stand up to the pains of life while we hope in the resurrection. Almighty God, fill and surround the soul of Maris with Protection.

Caller of Sky [Kiel]:
We look to the SKY, the home of the eagle. This is the place of clear vision that helps us to see far and understand the meaning of things. Look upon us from the sky-world, Creator, and teach us to rise above those weaknesses that keep us from the good path of life. Renew your Spirit in us. Almighty God, may Maris be a shining star in the Heavens; may he be embraced by our ancestors and the angels.

Caller of Earth [Anna or Demetria]:
We bend down to touch the EARTH, the place from which we come, our Mother who gives us everything we need to survive. Look upon us from all the living things of the earth, Creator, and teach us to remember the great lesson that we are related. Give us the gift of strength to walk gently in harmony with all of life. Almighty God, may Maris carry with him all the good and happy memories of his life on this Earth.

Priest/ess [Joan]:
GREAT SPIRIT, of all directions, we thank You for giving us Your own Spirit to transform our hearts. Unite us with all the nations of the world so that together we may create a new world guided by Your Spirit. Almighty God, may we all be reunited with Maris one day in a world of peace. within that timeless unity that is the heart of God.

Navajo Prayer For Healing

Navajo Prayer for Healing
[Participants please repeat, “May he walk in beauty”,
after leader reads each line]

In the house made of dawn.
In the story made of dawn.
On the trail of dawn.
O God, it is begun in beauty.

His feet, my feet, restore.
His limbs, my limbs, restore.
His body, my body, restore.
His mind, my mind, restore.
His voice, my voice, restore.
His heart, my heart, restore.

We walk with beauty before us.
We walk with beauty behind us.
We walk with beauty above us.
We walk with beauty below us.
We walk with beauty around us.
We walk with beautiful voices.
In beauty we walk all day.
In beauty we walk through returning seasons.

In the house of evening light.
From the story made of evening light.
On the trail of evening light
O God, it is finished in beauty.

Prayers For Difficult Times

I have found comfort in these anthroposophical prayers of The Christian Community.

Please pray for Maris:

For The Many Who Have Died

The Good Shepherd lead them
Where they are transformed
That they may breathe
The air of eternal Being.

Where they work as soul
For worlds to come
The grace of the Spirit
Unite us with them.

adapted from Adam Bittleston
*Adam Bittleston, Meditative Prayers for Today, Floris Books

and please pray for us who are left behind:

Short Intercession
(for those who mourn)

May the Good Shepherd lead us
Into peace of heart
Into hopeful thinking,
Into patient strength of will;
Health of body,
Harmony of soul,
Clarity of spirit,
Now, and in the time to come.

Adam Bittleston

Immortality

The Christian Community embraces life, death, and everything in between. This extends to Immortality and Pre-Existence.

I like their Thoughts On Life and Death.

Rudolf Steiner inspired the founding of The Christian Community.

The Sea of Grief

Grief is like the ocean. It keeps coming in waves.

Sometimes the waves are continuous and gentle, and they are just part of me but not really noticeable. Other times they are large and powerful and very insistent. But they are always there.

I notice that if I am distracted by mundane things, and not aware of the grief for a while, it is almost as if the grief had been dammed up for a period of time; because when I become aware of it again, it comes at me in a really big wave, all at once.

For this reason, I need to find ways of letting grief pour through me continually. Because the little waves are easier to deal with than the big ones.

The Latin word "maris" means "of the sea."

Everything reminds me of Maris.