One Third of My Light Is Gone

"...And the fourth angel sounded the trumpet, and the third part of the sun was smitten, and the third part of the moon, and the third part of the stars, so that the third part of them was darkened. And the day did not shine for a third part of it,, and the night in like manner." --Rev. 8:12

I have three sons. One of them is in the spirit world. On October 26, 2009, one third of the light in my life went out forever.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Getting Caught Up

I have not blogged in a while.

My thoughts continue to be consumed with remorse, grief, and horror.

Every day I ask myself over and over what is wrong with me? How could I not know the extent to which Maris was depressed and suffering? why did it never occur to me that he might take his own life?

I thought depression was something people just put up with, until the day they overcame it. It never occurred to me that people sometimes die of depression.

How could I be so ignorant?

I have not read anything in the last 7 or 8 months that was not in some way about depression. Every sentence i read is a horrible realization.

Is this picture the face of depression?

To be aware of depression, you have to read between the lines, and watch for tiny clues that do not add up...and to take them VERY SERIOUSLY.

I will never again take ANYTHING for granted.

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