Moths

They are talking about moths on NPR.

what a horror!

I have a moth phobia. My skin is now crawling. Maybe I should just turn off the radio.

At one point Maris was diagnosed with a social phobia. Is a social phobia like a moth phobia in quality? Do you sweat at the mere thought of having to deal with people?

I used to have that problem. I was terrified of people. People told me I was shy. I think shyness and social phobia are 2 different things.

Mom said I was unkind to people. I just wished people would leave me alone; Is that shyness? or is it social phobia? or is it simply a matter of bad character?

Maybe Maris and I went through life thinking we were bad when we merely had a social phobia.

I kept telling him that what makes a person good or bad is not what goes through their mond, or what they feel, but the choices they make.

If you have a social phobia, or if you have dysthymia, do you really have free will? what can you choose or not choose?

Not sure when I finally overcame my terror of people. Maybe I just got so used to it I stopped thinking about it. I will never be gregarious. But at least I can sort of function around people better than I could when I was a little kid.

And I certainly do wish the best for people. Being terrified of people is not at all the same as wishing them harm.

I have good intentions towards people, and I know Maris did, too.

I am sad that I passed along defective genes to Maris. The last thing I wished for him was to have to go through what I went through growing up. But it was even worse.