Maris's Nissan

I just learned yesterday that Maris's Nissan is finally being auctioned off today.

At least I think it is.

This year has been a series of one heartache after another.

Maris loved his Nissan. He worked on it and cared for it in a very devoted way. He had it running extremely well. He loved going for long rides all over Oahu in it. It brought him a lot of happiness.

Then he lent it to someone.

And the Nissan got totaled.

I remember maris calling me, very down, and practically in tears. I felt his heart was broken. And my own heart broke for him.

Maris was so far away. I could not reach through the wires to hug him. I did what I could to console him. I am not sure it help much. All I could do was say helplessly, over and over, "Maris, I am so sorry that happened." HNot much else I could do.

It was one if a series of blows that hurt him all through 2009.

Maris bought another car, because he really needed a car, and began working on that one, too. But it was not as good as the Nissan, and he felt a bit discouraged in spite of continuing to work on it.

I recently acquired a new car, too.

It got me to thinking about vehicles in a general way.

How our cars can be one of the outer faces we present to the world, and a shell that protects and shields our frail physical beings. How we should be more grateful to them than we are. They carry precious cargo, and enable us to do things we could never do on our own...at leas5t not without as horse and / or a wagon.

Maris's Nissan served him well, and I am grateful to it.

Which is why it broke my heart that it was so neglected.

We are the soul of our cars. We inhabit them, almost the way we inhabit our houses, and the way our sould inhabit our bodies.

Our bodies are the temples of our soul and spirit. They are the physical vehicle that conveys our mind and soul through teh physical world, and anchors our brain to the physical world so that it can picks up tghoughts and our hearts can pick up intuitions.

We need to respect and honor our bodies more. We need to respect and honor our cars more, too.

Over the years I have thought many unpleasant things about my car. I have owned a couple lemons. I have owned a series of extremely elderly cars that became black holes that sucked in all the money in the world, and spent more time in the repair shop than in my garage.

In the last couple years, I began to thank my car every morning as I walked away from it in the parking lot. I thanked it for getting me to work safely. I thanked it for all the times it started right up, in the coldest days of winter. I thanked it for its brakes not failing at crucial moments. I thanked it for not over-heating at inconvenient times. I thanked it for letting its timing belt break on a quiet side street close to home rather than on the highway. I thanked it for doing its best in spite of my tremendous ignorance about cars, and my semi-benign neglect.

I wanted so much to give my car good thoughts, and surround it with good energy, rather than think horrible things about how the car has done much damage to the ecology of our country; and that we are responsible for enabling the oil companies to work their evil will on the world. I wanted those things for Maris's Nissan, too.

That is why it broke my heart when, months ago, I first learned the poor Nissan was sitting there, neglected, where it was towed after it was totaled.

I had thought that we had given permission to deal with the Nissan constructively back when we were in Hawaii for Maris's memorial. I assumed it would be given to a worthy charity, or even to a worthy individual. It certainly deserved better than to sit and languish after it had served Maris so faithfully.

As soon as I learned of that instance, I contacted people and made inquiries to see what could be done. We tried to contact charities on Oahu, but the ones we contacted seemed to be the wrong ones, and did not seem to want to help us. So we allowed the people who were actually on Oahu to deal with it. We sent the title, so there would be no problems in transferring ownership to the

My life has been a series of mistaken assumptions. I try to follow up on things, but my attempts at followup seem to also be a series of mistaken assumptions.

I truly thought that this time the car had been properly treated and towed away to wherever they keep them until the auction takes place. Upon failing to locate a charity that seemed to want the car, we gave permission to auction it off so that Hickam Base would somehow benefit in some small way.

Imagine the shock and discouragementI felt yesterday upon learning that the car was to be auctioned today, but that it had been left sitting still in that same place all these months.

It really deserved better treatment.

Many things went through my mind. How Oahu was so far away....and I had no way to know what was really going on with the car....and how I really had no way of knowing what was going on withg Maris.

I also thought that now we knew why every now and then a wave of low energy would pass through us...just as sometimes it had when Maris was going through something difficult. But we were so far away, and sometimes maris would not tell us much about what was going on with him....and no one told us much about what was going on with his car, either.

I think about the disrespectful way in which we treat our own temples, our own bodies. How we show how we really feel about our fellow drivers by the way we treat each other on the road....behavior we would not engage in quite as freely face to face, because we allow our cars to take the hits for us...as if they were some sort of shield we hide behind.

I think about how our physical embodiment is so fragile, and how dependent our spirit is on this fragile shell that anchors us to this physical plane.

I think of that dear Nissan, irreparably damaged. I think of my dearest, dearest, most treasured Maris, irreparably damaged. I cry out in agony for them.

Is there a heaven for cars? Do androids dream of electric sheep?

Be at peace, dear golden Nissan. thank you for being so good to Maris. Thank you for taking him places, and bringing him home again. Thank you for serving him so well.

Forgive me for not dealing sufficiently well with the enormous distance to Oahu. Forgive me for not following through all the way to the end. Forgive myinadequacy.

Thank you, dear beautiful golden Nissan, for being so good to Maris. I love you and thank you

Thank you, dear beautiful Maris, for being my son for this all too short span if time. I love you and I thank you.

I will see Maris again, in the spirit world. I am doubtful about the car, though, .and I am regretful for not treating it better. It did not deserve this kind of end.

Farewell, dear golden Nissan, and thank you yet again. I wish you did not have to leave Maris so soon

I love you forever, dear Maris, I wish you didnot have to leave us so soon.

I am so sorry I failed you both.