Stripes, 1995? - 2010

We had to put our dear kitty, Stripes, to sleep last Wednesday, September 18.

She fell down around 9:15 pm, and could not get up again. Both hind legs seemed paralyzed. She was panting and crying, and could not hold up her head. Whatever happened must have been very painful and frightening. I carried her downstairs and felt as if she wanted to use her litterbox, which she did. But then she fell down again. All we could think of to do was rush her to the local animal emergency medical care facility.

There, they could not give us hopeful news. They gave Stripes a massive dose of pain killers in order to examine her. They said the blood glucose in her hind legs was around 100, and double that in the front legs, which seemed to indicate lack of blood flow to the hind legs. They thought that meant a blood clot had lodged in her aorta and cut off blood to the second hind leg. Her heartbeat was also irregular. They thought it was a stroke or a heart attack.

We felt that Stripes's time had come. We wanted her to be jealed and whole, but did not want the cure to be more painful than the illness. We felt the time had come to release her from this life without Maris.

We told her over and over how much we loved her, and how grateful we were that she had come to live with us. We thanked her for all the love she gave to Maris over the years. We called on Bast and Great Mystery to look after her in the Spirit World.

We were with her to the very end. I feel sure Maris was there to meet Stripes on The Other Side.

We carried her home and buried her under the cherry tree in our back yard, with other members of our animal family.

We will always love you, Stripes. You are the best, most beautiful cat who ever lived.

Dream, August 16, 2010

I dreamed that I was hugging Maris. We were surrounded by pure sly blue light, rose light, and white light. He was speaking in questions, He said to me, "What am I feeling? am I happy?"

I am not sure of the meaning of the conversation. Is he trying to figure out how he feels? Am I asking myself what he is feeling, or what i am feeling?

Was it hard for Maris to do that in life? is it easier now? is he having to learn it all over againnow?

Here we are again, speaking in questions.

But the feeling of hugging Maris again was wonderful, and something positive i can associate with him, rather than so many regretful, sad thoughts.

Stripes

Stripes loved Maris. He was her favorite human. She sat on his lap for hours when he played computer games, and she liked to sleep on top of him.

Stripes is not feeling well. She has been limping.

Something happened to her leg during a time when I was not with her.

Was it an injury, or was it a disease? was it due to my neglect? was it something I could have prevented?

whatever is happening to Stripes is similar to what happened to Maris insofar as I am finding myself asking the same questions: was this something I could have prevented? did I cause it to happen?

Stripes has retained her sweet and loving disposition. She is a strong and brave cat.

Her vet, Dr. Currigan, says catss' behavior reflects "Survival of the fittest." when they don't feel well, they hide, so that they survive.

Stripes has been stoical, just like Maris.

Here is the latest from her vet:
"We do not have all of Stripes’ laboratory results in yet, but we do have most results back. On her blood and urine tests, the only significant finding was an elevated white blood cell count. An increased white blood cell count is consistent with either infection or inflammation (and sometimes with cancer as well – usually because of the associated inflammation of the cancer). Everything else on her blood work looks fine (kidneys, liver, thyroid, protein level, etc.). Her blood potassium was slightly low, but that may have just been due to stress. Stripes’ urine was well concentrated (or not watery) – which means her kidney function is good. We may want to put Stripes on an antibiotic for the high white blood cell count, but I would like to hold off on that until we get all the test results back.

On the radiologist report, he, too, is concerned about the masses in the lungs - with cancer, or infection (fungal, bacterial), parasites (less likely) being possibilities.

We do not yet have back they results of the aspirate of the leg swelling, but hopefully I will have those back by Friday and will call you then."

Eventually we will get a fuller idea of what 's up with Stripes.

But she has missed maris very much.

She sits outside his room when the door is closed. We brought her upstairs, away from the other cats who might bother her, in an attempt to help her get some rest and relaxation.

She has taken up residence in Maris's room. So her food, water, and litter tray are there too, so that Stripes does not have to use her sore leg to get up and down the stairs.

When she is there, I think she communes with maris. Maybe she feels safe there, where she was always happiest.

I think she really wants to be with Maris.