this is what we woke up to today:
from the NOAA website:
High Wind Warning
URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE CHICAGO IL
1124 AM CDT TUE OCT 26 2010
...DAMAGING WINDS POSSIBLE TODAY...
WINNEBAGO-BOONE-MCHENRY-LAKE IL-OGLE-LEE-DE KALB-KANE-DUPAGE-COOK-
LA SALLE-KENDALL-GRUNDY-WILL-KANKAKEE-LIVINGSTON-IROQUOIS-FORD-
LAKE IN-PORTER-NEWTON-JASPER-BENTON-
INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...ROCKFORD...BELVIDERE...WOODSTOCK...
WAUKEGAN...OREGON...DIXON...DEKALB...AURORA...WHEATON...CHICAGO...
OTTAWA...OSWEGO...MORRIS...JOLIET...KANKAKEE...PONTIAC...
WATSEKA...PAXTON...GARY...VALPARAISO...MOROCCO...RENSSELAER...
FOWLER
A HIGH WIND WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 8 PM CDT /9 PM EDT/
THIS EVENING.
* WINDS...SOUTHWEST AT 30 TO 40 MPH...WITH GUSTS TO 60 MPH.
* IMPACTS...NON SECURE OBJECTS MAY BECOME AIRBORNE. FALLING TREE
LIMBS AND POWER OUTAGES ARE LIKELY...WITH TRAFFIC SIGNALS ALSO
EXPECTED TO BE AFFECTED RESULTING IN SIGNIFICANT TRAVEL
DELAYS. TRAVEL WILL ALSO BECOME DIFFICULT...WITH HIGH PROFILE
VEHICLES BECOMING DIFFICULT TO CONTROL.
PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...
A HIGH WIND WARNING MEANS A HAZARDOUS HIGH WIND EVENT IS EXPECTED
OR OCCURRING. SUSTAINED WIND SPEEDS OF AT LEAST 40 MPH OR GUSTS
OF 58 MPH OR MORE CAN LEAD TO PROPERTY DAMAGE.
it is still and peaceful now; but this morning at 6 a.m. it was very dark and extremely windy. 60,000 people lost their electrical power because of downed power lines. Flights our of O'Hare have been canceled as well.
We keep checking Olivia's flight info for updates, but so far so good.
The wind was whistling and moaning through every crack; and all night long the bedroom door was rattling.
Maris loved this kind of weather. Maybe he wanted to let us know he is thinking of us. so he sent a nice windstorm our way.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
My Twin Soul
Maris may be my twin soul.
Perhaps this lifetime with Maris was preparation for a future lifetime in which we will continue working together.
How can we ever know? We can only listen to what is in our hearts.
Some things are true on an emotional or spiritual level but not true on a physical or intellectual level. Truth may be a very personal and private thing.
In any event, the main ritual we chose for this year's Goddess Festival was Sirius, Star of Isis, and its theme was twin souls.
Olivia says another characteristic of Indigos is that they live on an intellectual or mental level, rather than an emotional level. They do not display much feeling. Olivia thinks perhaps Maris and I needed this incarnation in order to learn about the nature of deep and traumatic feeling, and its effect on humans.
The nature of the mind is to understand; to find meaning; and to solve problems. That is its job.
In the face of mystery, the human brain struggles desperateley to make sense of things that are not logical or reasonable. Suicide is the greatest mystery of all. And so we struggle more despaerately than ever to understand.
The twin soul is that without which the other is not complete. It is a part of us that broke off lifetimes or aeons ago. The 2 parts of this soul need to be together.
It will always be a great mystery. All we can do is trust and accept.
Perhaps this lifetime with Maris was preparation for a future lifetime in which we will continue working together.
How can we ever know? We can only listen to what is in our hearts.
Some things are true on an emotional or spiritual level but not true on a physical or intellectual level. Truth may be a very personal and private thing.
In any event, the main ritual we chose for this year's Goddess Festival was Sirius, Star of Isis, and its theme was twin souls.
Olivia says another characteristic of Indigos is that they live on an intellectual or mental level, rather than an emotional level. They do not display much feeling. Olivia thinks perhaps Maris and I needed this incarnation in order to learn about the nature of deep and traumatic feeling, and its effect on humans.
The nature of the mind is to understand; to find meaning; and to solve problems. That is its job.
In the face of mystery, the human brain struggles desperateley to make sense of things that are not logical or reasonable. Suicide is the greatest mystery of all. And so we struggle more despaerately than ever to understand.
The twin soul is that without which the other is not complete. It is a part of us that broke off lifetimes or aeons ago. The 2 parts of this soul need to be together.
It will always be a great mystery. All we can do is trust and accept.
Gayle Mack
Our friend Gayle, who lives in Georgia, visited Chicago this past weekend to spend time with Olivia and me. We have not seen Gayle since 1993, when we were all together for the first time in Chicago. We celebrated an early Samhain together on October 23, and the next morning Gayle did a wonderful healing on Ray and me to help us move beyond the deep grief we feel at the loss of Maris into a state where we can feel joy and gratitude when we think of him.
The healinbg was an amazing experience. Several times in the course of the healing, I became dizzy; and a couple times, my body seemed to disappear so I could not feel anything from the neck down. This indicated a moment of re-integration during which my various physical and neural systems tried to re-set themselves. Our souls had become fragmented from the trauma of what happened to Maris, and Gayle helped us put ourselves back together.
A lot happened during the healing, and there is a still a lot for us to process. But we are doing what we can to heal ourselves, and are more grateful than we can ever express to the dear people who are helping us in so many ways.
The healinbg was an amazing experience. Several times in the course of the healing, I became dizzy; and a couple times, my body seemed to disappear so I could not feel anything from the neck down. This indicated a moment of re-integration during which my various physical and neural systems tried to re-set themselves. Our souls had become fragmented from the trauma of what happened to Maris, and Gayle helped us put ourselves back together.
A lot happened during the healing, and there is a still a lot for us to process. But we are doing what we can to heal ourselves, and are more grateful than we can ever express to the dear people who are helping us in so many ways.
Star Children and Indigos
Olivia is here. She is leaving this afternoon. She was here one year ago, when we received the news about Maris.
Olivia and I spent a couple hours this morning having a long leisurely breakfast conversation, as we do every morning when she is here. We talked a lot about Maris.
Olivia knows Maris is alive on the Inner Planes, and she knows he is happy. But she says our sorrowful and remorseful thoughts make him sad.
She told me about her experiences with Indigo Children. She says they really are different, and they suffer in this world. The Star People incarnate on this world to help humanity; but their frequency is higher, and that of this world is lower, and so they feel trapped and unhappy. They have a hard time making themselves understood. They feel isolated and depressed. Sometimes they take their own lives at an early age for this reason; and when their spirits are released they are at once again.
Olivia speculates that Maris may have been an Indigo or a Star Child.
We know he was different, that he had a hard time making himself understood, and that he was disillusioned with the way things are in this world.
Olivia keeps reminding me that Maris had a special mission on this earth, and it was time for him to leave. She reminds us he is alive but in a different form, and we will see him again.
She wants us to remember him in a joyful way.
Olivia and I spent a couple hours this morning having a long leisurely breakfast conversation, as we do every morning when she is here. We talked a lot about Maris.
Olivia knows Maris is alive on the Inner Planes, and she knows he is happy. But she says our sorrowful and remorseful thoughts make him sad.
She told me about her experiences with Indigo Children. She says they really are different, and they suffer in this world. The Star People incarnate on this world to help humanity; but their frequency is higher, and that of this world is lower, and so they feel trapped and unhappy. They have a hard time making themselves understood. They feel isolated and depressed. Sometimes they take their own lives at an early age for this reason; and when their spirits are released they are at once again.
Olivia speculates that Maris may have been an Indigo or a Star Child.
We know he was different, that he had a hard time making himself understood, and that he was disillusioned with the way things are in this world.
Olivia keeps reminding me that Maris had a special mission on this earth, and it was time for him to leave. She reminds us he is alive but in a different form, and we will see him again.
She wants us to remember him in a joyful way.
October 26, 2010
I have survived for one year without Maris.
I have lost my fear of death.
I love you, Maris. I will love you forever.
I have lost my fear of death.
I love you, Maris. I will love you forever.
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Maris Michael Butta, Senior Airman, son of Raymond and Deena, nee Weglarz; brother of Alexander and Philip Butta. A 2006 graduate of Gordon Tech High School, Maris was a member of the 8th Intel squadron in the U.S. Air Force at Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii. He was decorated with the Air Force Achievement Medal and earned the following awards: Air Force Organizational Excellence Award, the Air Force Good Conduct Medal, the National Defense Service Medal, the Global War on Terror Service Medal and the Air Force Training Ribbon. In lieu of flowers, memorial donation to the Wounded Warrior Project, 7020 A.C. Skinner Pkwy., Suite 100, Jacksonville, FL 32256. Visitation Monday, 3 to 9 p.m., and Tuesday, 9 a.m., until time of service, 10 a.m., at Smith-Corcoran Funeral Home, 6150 N. Cicero Ave., Chicago. Interment St. Adalbert Cemetery.