Bridge To Forgiveness

I am having a very hard time forgiving myself for what happened to Maris.  Ignorance is no excuse.  I am hoping this book will help.

When I pulled it off the shelf at work, just holding it made tears well up.  This book has a llot of heling in it.

I wish I could be like the people who wrote this book.

On one of the first pages it says:

"The first twenty years, you grow up.  The second twenty years, you heal from growing up...By the time you're forty, get over it.  We are human, and many mistakes were made in your growing up.  Take the next twenty years to heal, and then move on.  By the, you are what you are and you aren't what you are not."

I am having a very hard time moving on.I did not spend the next twenty years healing.  I spent the second twenty years making more mistakes.

Now, when I am supposed to be accepting myself and moving on, I am seeing myself as completely unacceptable but trying to heal from the first forty years.

I really want this book to help.

Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Currently reading Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

Lisbeth reminds me of Maris. 

I will let you know how it goes.

The Lacuna

I am close to finishing The Lacuna by Barbara Kingsolver.  I have mentioned it on the Butta Family Blog.


now that UI am closer to the end of the book, I realize more and more how much it reminds me of Maris.


the author uses  metaphors such as "the well of hopelessness."...howler monkeys...and more.  The protagonist is like maris in various ways.  It is a hard book to read.  


it is about assumptions people make about each other, and how lives are destroyed because of this.


The book takes place between the 1930s and 1950s, and how the witchhunts against communism destroyed the lives of innocent people.

I came across a review that describes the book better than I can...click HERE to read it.


the name of the novel, the lacuna, is taken from a statement that reappears  periodically in the book.  The lacuna is the empty space....what is left out.


"The most important thing about a person is always the thing you don't know".

When Ghosts Speak

I have been reading When Ghosts Speak by Mary Ann Winkowski, who is the consultant for the show Ghost Whisperer.  She specializes in communicating with earthbound spirits.

I do not necessarily feel that Maris is earthbound.  But this is not something we can know for certain.

Sometimes I come across pertinent sections in books like this, and I share them here.  I am exploring topics I never knew about before.  It is all new, and I need to know as much as I can.

Still Going Through the File

I can only read a little of this at a time.  It is very hard to process.