My own prayer of forgiveness evolves. I will blog about it in a separate blog post.
The prayer that Paolo Coelho includes in The Aleph seemed very significant to me. In fact the entire book is most significant. It dovetails with my own experiences and thoughts, and sheds light on them. Forgiveness is a huge part of being able to survive the experience of losing Maris. It is the only element in this never-ending nightmare that enables it to make any sense at all.
This prayer articulated much of what has been going through my consciousness. It is very powerful.
"I forgive [who] I was, not because I want to become a saint but because I do not want to endure this hatred. This tiresome hatred...
I am liberated from hatred by means of forgiveness and love. I understand that suffering, when it cannot be avoided, helps me to advance towards glory...
The tears I shed, I forgive.
The suffering and disappointments, I forgive.
The betrayals and lies, I forgive.
The slandering and scheming, I forgive.
The hatred and persecution, I forgive.
The punches that were given, I forgive.
The shattered dreams, I forgive.
The dead hopes, I forgive.
The disaffection and jealousy, I forgive.
The indifference and ill will, I forgive.
The injustice in the name of justice, I forgive.
The anger and mistreatment, I forgive.
The neglect and oblivion, I forgive.
The world with all its evil, I forgive...
Grief and resentment, I replace with understanding and agreement.
Revolt, I replace with music that comes from my violin.
Pain I replace with oblivion.
Revenge, I replace with victory.
I will be able to love above all discontentment.
To give even when I am stripped of everything.
To work happily even when I find myself in the midst of all obstacles.
To dry tears even when I am still crying.
To believe even when I am discredited...
Thy will be done. Thy will be done."
Maris Michael Butta, Senior Airman, son of Raymond and Deena, nee Weglarz; brother of Alexander and Philip Butta. A 2006 graduate of Gordon Tech High School, Maris was a member of the 8th Intel squadron in the U.S. Air Force at Hickam Air Force Base in Hawaii. He was decorated with the Air Force Achievement Medal and earned the following awards: Air Force Organizational Excellence Award, the Air Force Good Conduct Medal, the National Defense Service Medal, the Global War on Terror Service Medal and the Air Force Training Ribbon. In lieu of flowers, memorial donation to the Wounded Warrior Project, 7020 A.C. Skinner Pkwy., Suite 100, Jacksonville, FL 32256. Visitation Monday, 3 to 9 p.m., and Tuesday, 9 a.m., until time of service, 10 a.m., at Smith-Corcoran Funeral Home, 6150 N. Cicero Ave., Chicago. Interment St. Adalbert Cemetery.
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