One Third of My Light Is Gone

"...And the fourth angel sounded the trumpet, and the third part of the sun was smitten, and the third part of the moon, and the third part of the stars, so that the third part of them was darkened. And the day did not shine for a third part of it,, and the night in like manner." --Rev. 8:12

I have three sons. One of them is in the spirit world. On October 26, 2009, one third of the light in my life went out forever.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Living in the Twilight Zone

A strange phenomenon has been taking place in my mind recently.

There is a sense of unreality about Maris not being here.

I sometimes feel as if I might get a phone call telling me the ruse or the deception or the coverup or the simulation is now over, and Maris will be returned to us and evertything will be normal again.

Other times a feeling of agony washes over me, and my mind screams, "That's enough! i can't take any more, stop this simulation!"

i can't decide if it is like the holodeck...or like Twilight Zone.....or if i am just really losing my mind.

it is just really, really hard living without Maris.

Part of the problem is that it had been almost a year since we last saw him. Our only contact was the telephone. Maybe that is why I keep expecting the phone to ring.
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